Day 90

Barnaby is around three months old. There is a lot written about early childhood development in these precious first months and it’s confusing to know how it all applies to a baby who was born almost three months early. In some ways he has been in this world for three months learning and growing and in other ways he is just now where a newborn baby usually is.

He is seven a half pounds. Huge chubby cheeks and a totally normal weight for a full term baby, but even here in the prenatal unit there is a growth percentile overlaid on his medical chart that puts him way underweight for a 90 day old baby, the doctors remind us to ignore it, but it is notable that even here in a department dedicated to neonatology intensive care there is some confusion about how to talk and think about this.

Increasingly as he grows we are learning to look at him and not at the charts and monitors and diagnostics to determine how he is doing. As a tiny baby we would stare at the machines for hours to know if his heart rate was stable and his breathing was adequate. Now, watching him look curiously around the world, cry when he is upset, hate having a wet diaper, and smile when he farts, it is clear to both of us that he is doing well without us having to consult the monitors.

It may be a while yet before we go home. He still needs to learn to drink milk for all of his calories, he has a few medications still (including caffeine for apnea) that he is not allowed to go home on, and he needs to go a full 7 days without any Bradycardia “spells” where his heart rate drops. All these things are improving but slowly and the challenges ahead are a little less scary but just as unknown.